Family life is all about living together, more than staying together. There is a huge difference between these two. For living together and to have the best experience and the best outcome of human life, the foremost requirement is the common understanding, among all family members, about life in general.
What does it really mean by living? Is it to eat, drink and be merry, or something more? Is there anything special about human birth? Answers to all these questions can be found in holy scriptures. Not only these scriptures contain answers to these questions but they also contain the warnings or effects of not paying attention to such questions. They say that there are two styles of living - pleasing (प्रेयस) life style and beneficial (श्रेयस or हितकारी) life style. What is pleasing may not be beneficial and vice versa. Saints advise that one should choose beneficial lifestyle over pleasing lifestyle.
Running behind desires, that keep multiplying, and continuous pursuit of earning wealth to satisfy those desires and adding more and more luxury and comfort to the life is a pleasing lifestyle, whereas, putting ceiling on desires, earning wealth enough to satisfy minimum needs of life and spending more time in the service of God is a beneficial lifestyle.
The desire is illusive and ever expanding. If one does not put ceiling on desires early in the life, one may end up running behind desires and trying to satisfy them through the whole life and with this approach there will be always an unsatisfied desire till last breath.
Want of more and more wealth as well as worry of not having enough wealth are dreary feelings that can destroy the joy of life. They say that if at all one should have passion, it should be for earning grace of god. Once grace कृपा is achieved there remains nothing to be achieved.
Saints tell from their experience that to earn grace of god one does not really need wealth. What one needs is attitude of surrendering, an attitude to be in the service of god.
Those families - where all members are engaged in service of God and all members remain happy in whatever God gives – can be said to be living beneficial lifestyle. Reading holy scriptures together, chanting the name of god and being always in service of God are the primary activities of these families. It is very pleasing experience to establish close relationship with such families and to be of service to them.
Pandavas adopted beneficial lifestyle. All pandava brothers were satvik in nature. For them service to Krishna and following dharmic lifestyle was their primary goal of life. They were full of detachment. They were embodiments of compassion and always made best efforts to resolve conflicts in amicable ways. They lived their life for and through Krishna. After returning from exile when the question arose of returning kingdom to Yudhisthira and his brothers, Duryodhana refused to give any part of kingdom back to pandavas. Yudhisthira expressed that he and his brothers will be happy even if they get five villages, one for each brother. Krishna, playing role of ambassador of pandavas, went to Hastinapura and presented Yudhisthira’s request in the assembly of Kauravas, but even that request was rejected by adamant Duryodhana. He was not ready to give even the land of size of a tip of a needle to Pandavas. And that’s why the war became inevitable and during war Krishna took the side of Pandavas knowing that they were rightful. Kauravas were defeated in the war even when their armory was much larger than that of Pandavas. After war was over, Pandavas established kingdom that promoted welfare of society and established dharmic way of life in line with primary reason of Krishna’s incarnation. Upon hearing the news of Krishna leaving his earthly body, pandava brothers, then and there renounced the kingdom. Yudhisthira enthroned teenager Parikshit, son of Abhimanyu, as the heir of pandavas and all pandava brothers along with their wife Draupadi started their march (mahaprasthan) towards Himalayas with a vow to walk till last breath of life with no food and no rest. They ended their life with their mind fixed on the form of Krishna and lips engaged in chanting name of Krishna.
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